Dear God:Here are 3 of the things I Promise to work on......# 1 Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello". #2 The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's not a good thing. #3 The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?