Tuesday, November 30, 2010

happy new years 2011

OK. Just like last year*, let's skip this one.
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I mean come on, look back at 2010 and tell me what you see :

January - the health care reform passed, Obama reveals all his preexisting conditions, including allergy to Portuguese water dogs and FOX News

February - winter olympics : Michael Phelps wins all events not run by Usain Bolt but fails at the femininity tests

March - Benedict XVI proclaims Vlad III the Impaler a Saint for his resistance to the Ottoman Empire and his knowledge of Latin

April - Burj Dubai is completed under the name Burj Abu Dhabi

May - Ayatollah Khamenei dies but not before nominating his successor : "Iran needs a hardcore fundamentalist who can exceed his powers and fix a ballot, and no one seemed more qualified than Ayatollah George W. Bush"

June - One year later, a goose moonwalks over Michael Jackson's grave. The grave itself has already moonwalked 10 yards in the direction of Beverly Hill's preschool.

July - Brasil wins the FIFA World Cup, defeating England in the semi finals and Cameroon in the finals. Meanwhile, no one notices the Second Dip (50% shaved off Shanghai Stock Exchange overnight).

August - China invades Afghanistan to relieve US troops. Russia invades Xinjiang to relieve Chinese troops. India invades England to relieve former Russian billionaires.

September - on the eve of Yom Kippur, Israel completes its wall around Palestine and accepts the independence of that square meter in the middle of the desert.

October - 50 years after Khrushchev, Sarkozy bangs his shoe at the UN. On Ban Ki-moon's head because he made a joke about his height.

November - US midterm elections evenly splits the congress : 1/3 Democrats, 1/3 Republicans, 1/3 Palinian Theocrats

December - Glenn Beck in Oslo to accept his Nobel Peace Prize : "gee... it's a bit premature... unless you give it to me so that I don't have to implement my program"

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